This just in, hot off the presses, is our second article on the discovery of the Stolen White Elephant Hassan...

Reign of the Elephant Ended!

By A.S. Illyperson

The reign of terror has finally been brought to an end as the corpse of the “Scourge of Siam” was stumbled upon, both literally and figuratively, at midnight in the basement of the N.Y.D.F. headquarters. The remains were found by the brilliant Inspector Blunt, who had been stalking the elephant for three weeks.

Leaving an all-but immaculate criminal record behind, Hassan the White Elephant acquired an extensive list of infractions and violations during his three-week rampage. Such crimes as the theft of 800 bottles and a haystack; the murder of a horse, plumber, police officer, sensation preacher, and two detectives; and the interruption of a religious revival resulted in sixty deceased and 120 injured.

Shortly after the elephant disappeared from Jersey City, detectives were dispatched all over the Northeast in states such as New York, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and New Jersey to track the animal. When questioned as to why investigators were searching such a vast area, Detective Blunt stated, “It is my duty to ensure that there is no means of escape for this filthy, destructive, and vile creature. We will pursue him with all available resources.”

The elephant was nearly captured recently when he was spotted in the fog, but he could not be followed due to poor visibility. Until this morning the case was cold, but then his remains were discovered in the basement. Detective Blunt, being the genius that he is, relied only on his sense of touch to find Hassan, using his foot to locate the body in a dark corner.

Upon hearing of the elephant’s demise, a celebration immediately erupted. All detectives, save for two who died valiantly in their efforts to track and capture the beast, returned for the jubilant celebration. Blunt remarked to his investigators, “Enjoy it boys, for you’ve earned it; and more than that, you’ve earned for the detective profession undying fame.”

Hassan’s former owner, asked to comment on the situation, replied, “I am a ruined man and a wanderer on the earth but my admiration for that man, whom I believe to be the greatest detective the world has ever produced, remains undimmed to this day, and will so remain unto the end.”

At long last the white elephant, the reparation gift gone bad, has been brought to justice in the form of death.

INFAMOUS WHITE ELEPHANT FINALLY FOUND!

The Jumbo Problem Solved
by Tina Tiny Teena

The ingenious Inspector Blunt could taste victory as he stumbled upon Hassen, the cunning white elephant, at midnight down in the NYDF basement after the gruesome massacres.

Jumbo, a.k.a. Hassan the white elephant, was finally found after the hard battles he waged. Shortly after he was stolen, there were reports of havoc. In the end, there were 120 people wounded and 60 people and one horse dead.

Two of the 60 people dead were detectives Brown and Burke. Tragically Burke was crushed by the elephant’s trunk. Detective Mulrooney also accompanied Burke but escaped. He was quoted as saying, “ I was shocked to see Burke killed. Right after though, the elephant started coming towards me so I ran. I was only saved when the elephant became distracted with the ruins of a funeral.” The other detective, Brown, was checking to see if Hassan had a scar under his armpit, to verify it was the real elephant, when he was struck on the head and killed. Some other incidents that occurred involved a funeral dispersed, plumbers killed, and even a lamppost destroyed.

As the days went on, there was still no sign of Hassan. The owner decided to offer a reward of 25,000 dollars. Blunt wanted the reward for detectives only because he thought that other people would steal all of the clues. What led to finding Hassen was the description of him and the clues he left behind. Some of these clues include bottles stolen, a haystack missing, gas bills gone and footprints left behind. There was also a gaping hole in the wall which turned out to be only a clever attempt to mislead detectives.

While all of the havoc was happening, Blunt hatched an idea that Brick Duffy and Red McFadden were behind all this. Of course Blunt was testing our wits because everyone knows that the criminals have been dead for a while. Blunt told us, “ I had long suspected these facts, and the testimony proves the unerring accuracy of my instinct.”

As the weeks went by with detectives searching under every rock in Baxter Center, Hogansport and many other cities, there was still no sign of the elephant. Blunt had everywhere searched. He quoted, “So, the elephant turned westward. However he will not escape for my men are scattered all over that region.” As the third week came, Blunt made a deal with the thieves. The detectives and the thieves would split the 100,000 dollars and Blunt would find the elephant.

The reason Hassan was brought to New York in the first place was to be a reparation gift to the Queen of England from Siam. Just 20 days after he arrived, he was stolen from under our noses. Even with 300,000 witnesses it was still a tough egg to crack. There were at least 37 suspects and 12 different theories.

In the end, Hassan of Siam was captured but ended up deceased of unknown cannon wounds in his side. Hassan’s owner said a few words: “Poor Hassen was lost to me forever. The cannon shots had wounded him fatally; he crept into that unfriendly place into that fog, and there, surrounded by his enemies and in constant danger of detection, wasted away with hunger and suffering until death gave him peace.”

Even though it was a miracle that the elephant was found, his caretaker was left penniless and ruined. It just goes to show, do not give white elephants as reparation gifts.

Mark Twain's "Stolen White Elephant"

Greetings, all:

We just recently concluded Mark Twain's detective farce, "The Stolen White Elephant". Thanks to the bravery and ingenuity of the New York Detective Force, under the sagacious leadership of Chief Inspector Blunt, the giant white elephant Hassan Ben Ali Ben Selim Abdallah Mohammed Moist Alhammal Jamsetjejeebhoy Dhuleep Sultan Ebu Bhudpoor has finally been apprehended.

If you'd like to learn more about the real Jumbo, and his owner P.T. Barnum, who makes a cameo in the story, go to http://www.ptbarnum.org/. You might also visit the celebrity morgue, which tells the tale of Jumbo's sad (and bizarre) death. The Tufts website concludes the strange post-mortem journey of our gargantuan friend.

If you'd like to read more about the infamous case of body-snatching that Twain based the story on, specifically the theft of millionaire Alexander T. Stewart's corpse and a nationwide effort by detectives to find it, click here.

Just for fun, take a look at the Pinkerton Detective Logo in the upper left. Notice anything familiar? (Hint: remember the NYDF's slogan?)

We'll be posting articles on the case from several student journalists. The first comes from Tina Tiny Teena. Stay tuned for more.

October 1st: Frolio's Calaveras County Half Day

Wednesday, October 1, the White Team hosted its very own "Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County Day". For those of you who may have missed it, we made origami frogs with Mrs. Peruzzi, played a human game of frogs and flies with Mr. Jefferies, and modeled the lengths of some of the world's longest rivers on the football field...with students. One of the highlights of the day was the frog jump itself. It was extremely interesting to see how creative some of you got with your jumping set-ups and frogs! I hope you enjoyed the activity.

If you want to learn more about the real annual Calaveras County Frog Jump in California, check out this link here. Every May, people come from around the nation to compete with their amphibious athletes. I'm tempted to try it myself. The world record was set in 1986 by "Rosie the Ribbeter", who leaped an astounding 21' 5 3/4". Measure that out! The cash prize for breaking the record is $5000. Not too shabby.

Congratulations to our own top frogs and their handlers, who are listed below...

7J - Lilly Pad: 18.62 meters
7E - Jumper: 38.50 meters
7B - Leonardo: 41.70 meters
7C - Da Green Machine: 22.86 meters
7V - Waldo: 25.80 meters

Our next story by Mark Twain is his wild and crazy spoof of the detective novel, The Stolen White Elephant. Look out!